Lost

I have sat to write every day these last few weeks. There have been some productive days, and I've created some pieces I'm reasonably proud of. However, most of the time, I've been struggling to latch onto that nugget of an idea rolling around in my head. 

This year, I've wanted to not just simply write every day, but write something of meaning. I also want to develop my writing by working on some larger pieces. 

Maybe I'm putting too many restrictions and expectations on myself. Probably. I guess I'm no longer satisfied with writing crap just for the sake of writing something. Maybe I should be. And, I also don't want to keep rehashing topics or emotions I've explored time and again. 

I have many ideas I want to explore, many topics to uncover. It feels like my efforts are trite, rambling and simply don't represent what I want to say fully. 

I can't blame it on the pandemic lock down. I've been out working in the world for a few months, and I have found a great deal of inspiration from that environment. But, I still can't help to feel I don't have the same inspiration I've had.

I desperately want to explore things like patriotism and racism and sexism (among other things),  but nothing seems to get me to what I want to say. I'll get there, though. I have to, right? 

I just have to keep trying every day.

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